By Ted Kluck

I asked for it once as a gift: "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" by James Joyce. It has sat on my shelf ever since. Vanity allowed me to ask for it because I wanted to impress her. I wanted to appear enlightened and be the mysterious guy in the black turtleneck smoking cigarettes in the back of the bar. Because I was an idiot. With all due respect to James Joyce, the book remains unread, and I fear it always will.

I share this story because the responsibility of Valentine's Day gifts for him rests largely on his broad shoulders. It is up to us, gentlemen, to be ourselves. We need to share enough in genuine conversation to allow her to get to know us for who we really are. That's when she'll know we would rather have the cheesy Def Leppard CD that reminds us of high school or that we’ve always wanted to see a night game at Wrigley.

Ladies, here are a few gift ideas to consider — gifts that he may not ask for but that he'll appreciate for a long time:

Music. Music is one of the most personal and accessible forms of art and communication available. I once knew a woman who bought her husband five albums he had coveted, one album for every year of their marriage. It was one of the most fun and meaningful gifts he ever received.

Clothing. The love of clothing and looking nice is a dirty little secret for most men. We’re not supposed to care about such things, but a great suit or a well-chosen accessory will go a long way for both of you.

Toys. Video Games. Action Figures. As ridiculous as it sounds, we love this stuff. It's also stuff we feel a little sheepish about buying ourselves. It communicates frivolity and the absence of responsibility — a luxury most of us can’t afford for at least 40 hours per week.

So the book remains on my shelf as a reminder never to make the same mistake twice. And a reminder that for a relationship to grow, both parties must make an effort to learn each other’s likes and dislikes, and to give gifts accordingly.

Alone this Valentine's Day? Give yourself a gift this year and find a date at Match.com!